Showing posts with label Battle Report. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Battle Report. Show all posts

1 August 2026

Bloodbowl: Humans vs Chaos

Amazing Averland Adventurers vs. Unknown Affiliates

Good morning, sports fans! It's time for another game, and this time the Amazing Averland Adventurers are facing the Unknown Affiliates once again.

The Human team is coming into the game after their last match against the High Elves of the Evershale Eagles, and unfortunately their Thrower is still out after being injured in that game.

Luckily, the Adventurers don't need any Journeymen today. They have exactly 11 players available, although that does mean they have to play without a Thrower.

They do have an Apothecary and three team re-rolls, and with a little money to spare they decide to invest in some inducements.

A couple of Bloodweiser Kegs and some Bretonnian Pastries should help get knocked-out players back on the pitch.

Because against a Chaos team, there are probably going to be quite a few players needing a little help getting back up.

There are once again plenty of fans in the stadium. Around 120,000 spectators have come to watch the game, and the weather is perfect.


“A beautiful day for Blood Bowl, Jim!”

“Yes, Bob. Perfect weather, a full stadium and two teams who like hitting each other.”

“What more could you want?”

“Perhaps fewer injuries.”

“Don't be ridiculous, Jim.”


The Unknown Affiliates win the toss and decide to receive.

They also manage to get a re-roll from Brilliant Coaching, giving them three re-rolls for the game.

The Chaos team immediately starts pounding the Human line of scrimmage.

The Humans know that they are at a disadvantage in strength, so they try to avoid the Chaos players wherever possible.

One of the Human Blitzers has Strip Ball, and the plan is to stay away from the Chaos team while looking for an opportunity to get at the ball.

The Unknown Affiliates form a cage around the ball carrier and slowly start moving forward.

The Minotaur uses its Frenzy to push and punch its way through the Human defence, opening space for the cage to advance.

The Humans make quite a few turnovers during the drive, but there is a reason for it.

Every single turn they are trying to dodge away from the Chaos players.

The plan is simple: stay one square away from the Chaos players, keep dodging away, and wait for an opportunity.

The cage moves slowly.

The Humans manage to create several possible openings, but they just can't get a player into a position where they can seriously threaten the ball carrier.




“The Humans seem to be spending a lot of time running away.”

“It's called tactical positioning, Bob.”

“I thought Humans were supposed to fight Chaos.”

“Only when they have to.”

“Ah. So they're saving their strength.”

“Exactly.”


Eventually, the Unknown Affiliates spot an opening.

They take it.

The Chaos cage breaks through the Human defence, and in turn six the ball carrier reaches the end zone.

Touchdown! Unknown Affiliates lead 1–0!

The Amazing Averland Adventurers now have three turns to equalise.

The Bloodweiser Kegs immediately prove their worth, bringing one of the knocked-out Humans back onto the pitch.

The Chaos Warriors position themselves out on the sides, while the Beastmen and Minotaur line up around the line of scrimmage.

The Humans set up with one thing in mind:

Make a hole.

The Ogre gets to work.

Unfortunately, the Ogre only manages to push.

But it is enough.

A small gap opens in the Chaos line, and both Human Catchers manage to get through and deep into Chaos territory.

Suddenly, the Humans have players in scoring position.

The Chaos team has also left a sizeable gap behind them, meaning they have a difficult time getting down to the ball.

The ball is deep in Human territory, so there are still a couple of turns to get it under control.

The Human captain, who is also a Blitzer, moves towards the ball.

He tries to pick it up.

He fails.

Even with his Pro skill.




“The Human captain has dropped the ball!”

“He has Pro, Bob.”

“Yes, Jim.”

“So he can try again.”

“Excellent! I like this skill.”


In the second-to-last turn of the half, the Chaos team has managed to put tackle zones on both Catchers and several other Human players.

But the Humans manage to play their way free.

The Blitzer finally picks up the ball and starts moving it towards the line of scrimmage.

The Chaos team decides that violence is the best answer.

The Minotaur goes after the Ogre.

The two big players clash.

And the result is disastrous for the Humans.

The Ogre is knocked out and badly hurt.

Casualty!

The Humans are now hopelessly outnumbered in terms of raw strength.

But there is still one turn left.

The final turn of the first half.

And somehow, the Amazing Averland Adventurers still have a chance to equalise.

The Blitzer runs through the Chaos players.

He needs either a dodge or a short pass to get the ball where it needs to go.

His Pro skill gives him the opportunity to make the pass.

He throws it.

The Catcher catches the ball...

while standing in a Beastman's tackle zone!

He dodges.

The first attempt fails.

But the Catcher has a Dodge re-roll.

He uses it.

Succes!

The Catcher runs into the end zone.

Touchdown!

1–1 at half-time!

And the Amazing Averland Adventurers will receive the ball in the second half.




“I don't believe it!”

“Neither do I, Bob.”

“They were down to their last turn!”

“And they scored.”

“This is why you never give up in Blood Bowl.”

“Or perhaps why you should never trust a Human Catcher.”


Second Half

The Humans put ten players on the pitch, with the Unknown Affiliates also down to ten after one of their players remains knocked out.

The Humans receive the ball and prepare to swarm across the pitch.

They are still at a serious disadvantage in strength.

The team is young, and none of their players have Guard yet.

So the tactic is clear.

Dodge.

Play around the Chaos players.

Spread the team out.

Wait for an opportunity to get the ball to a player who is free.

But how on earth are they going to make that work?

The answer seems to be:

Punch the Chaos team.

Somewhere during the half-time break, it appears the Human players have discovered a Khorne relic.

Because over the course of just a few turns, the Amazing Averland Adventurers manage to inflict three casualties on the Chaos team.

Chaos players start falling everywhere.

Suddenly there are holes.

Lots of holes.

The Humans have space to move, and the Unknown Affiliates are struggling to stop them.

The Adventurers take full advantage.

They dodge around the remaining Chaos players, spread the field and move the ball forward.

The Chaos defence is simply too damaged to stop them.

The Amazing Averland Adventurers score.

Touchdown!

2–1 to the Amazing Averland Adventurers!




“Jim, what happened to the Humans?”

“I'm not sure, Bob.”

“They've started knocking people out.”

“Yes.”

“That's not very Human.”

“Apparently they disagree.”


The Unknown Affiliates now have to equalise.

They form a cage and start working their way towards the Human end zone.

But there are fewer and fewer Chaos players left to do the work.

The half goes quickly.

The Humans dodge away from the remaining Chaos players, keep their distance, make cheeky Blitzes whenever possible and, most importantly, keep the clock running.

The Unknown Affiliates have less and less time to work with.

They are forced to play more and more desperately.

Eventually, the Chaos team reaches a point where almost everything has to go right if they are going to score.

They need the dodges.

They need the blocks.

They need the movement.

They need the dice.

And this time, it doesn't happen.

The Unknown Affiliates fail to create the opening they need.

The final whistle blows.

The Amazing Averland Adventurers win 2–1!


“What a game!”

“A very impressive comeback from the Humans.”

“They were losing 1–0, lost their Ogre and still came back to win.”

“Yes.”

“I think the Chaos team should be worried.”

“Why?”

“Because the Humans have discovered punching.”


It was a great game for the Amazing Averland Adventurers.

They managed to survive the first half despite being heavily outmatched in strength, and then turned the second half around with a combination of dodging, positioning and, somewhat surprisingly, a lot of casualties.

The huge crowd also means that both teams make a very good amount of money from the match.

The Humans immediately put some of their winnings to good use and buy another Thrower.

This gives the team a reserve player and, more importantly, means they won't have to play another game without a Thrower if one gets injured.

There are also two skill improvements.

One of the Catchers gains Diving Catch, an incredibly useful skill for the Human team.

One of the Linemen also gains Block, giving the team another reliable player on the line of scrimmage.

The Amazing Averland Adventurers are growing stronger.

And after this game, they have also learned an important lesson:

Sometimes the best way to avoid Chaos is simply to knock them all out.

Bloodbowl: Orcs vs Chaos

 

The Crimson Chompers vs. Unknown Affiliates

Good morning, sports fans! It's time for another game, and this time the Crimson Chompers are facing a completely new Chaos team: the Unknown Affiliates.

This is only the second game for the rookie Orc team, and the weather is perfect for Blood Bowl. The sun is shining, and the stadium announcer confirms that it is Very Sunny. Around 130,000 fans have turned up for the game, which is quite a crowd!


“130,000 fans, Jim! That's a lot of people!”

“Indeed, Bob. Although I suspect most of them are here to see someone get punched.”

“That's why I came!”


The Unknown Affiliates bring a full team of 11 players to the pitch: four Chaos Warriors, one Minotaur and six Beastmen. They also have two re-rolls.

The Crimson Chompers also have 11 players, although one of them is a Journeyman filling in for an Orc who is out with a broken arm. The team consists of two Black Orcs, two Blitzers, a Thrower, a Troll, a Goblin and four Linemen. The Apothecary is also ready on the sideline.

With the teams ready, the Unknown Affiliates receive the ball and immediately start playing classic Chaos cage football.

The first half quickly turns into a massive brawl.

Both teams push, hit and knock each other down, but surprisingly few players actually leave the pitch. Most of the casualties are simply players being knocked down or stunned, only to get back up again a few turns later.






“There's a lot of punching going on, Bob.”

“That's generally considered a good thing in Orc matches.”

“And Chaos matches.”

“So really, nobody has to change their game plan.”


The re-rolls start disappearing surprisingly quickly, with both teams finding plenty of opportunities to make use of them. Luckily, the half is a long one, and there is still plenty of time left.

In fact, most turns go surprisingly smoothly. There are very few turnovers, and almost every player on the pitch seems to be involved in some kind of fight.

The Chaos cage slowly moves forward through the Orc defence, and halfway through the first half, the Unknown Affiliates finally manage to break through.

The ball carrier gets into scoring position, and the Chaos team scores.

The Unknown Affiliates lead 1–0!

The Crimson Chompers now have to fight their way back into the game.

The Orcs try to create an opening, but the pitch has become a complete mess of players fighting in every direction. There simply isn't enough room to get through the mass of Chaos Warriors, Beastmen and Orcs.

The Chompers push forward, but they can't find the breakthrough they need.


“The Orcs are having trouble getting through.”

“Yes, Bob. There appears to be a small problem.”

“What's that?”

“The Chaos players are standing in the way.”

“I see. Perhaps someone should tell the Orcs to move them.”


The half ends with the Chaos team still leading 1–0.





Second Half

The second half starts much like the first one ended.

There is a lot of pushing, a lot of hitting and a lot of players lying on the ground.

This time, however, a few players start staying down.

Several players are knocked out, and one of the Orcs is eventually badly hurt and removed from the game.

The longer the half goes on, the more desperate the situation becomes for the Crimson Chompers.

They need a touchdown, but the Chaos players are everywhere.

The clock keeps ticking.

Turn after turn, the Orcs try to create an opening, but the Unknown Affiliates manage to keep the pressure on.


“Time is running out for the Crimson Chompers.”

“They should hurry up.”

“That's very good advice, Bob.”

“Thank you, Jim. I have been studying the rules.”




And then, finally, in the very last turn of the entire game, the Chompers get their chance.

A Goblin dodges into a tackle zone and helps the Troll with an important block. The Troll clears the way, and suddenly there is an opportunity.


“The Goblin is going into a tackle zone!”

“He's a Goblin, Bob. That's probably the safest place for him.”


The Orc Thrower gets the ball and throws it to a Blitzer.

The Blitzer catches it...

IN A TACKLE ZONE!

The crowd goes wild.

The Blitzer now has a chance to make the impossible happen.

He dodges away from a Beastman, then dodges into another tackle zone.

But this is where the Break Tackle skill comes into play.

He makes the dodge!

He's free!

There's nobody between him and the end zone.


“He has made it!”

“One more thing to do, Jim.”

“Two Going For It rolls.”

“Ah. Well, that's probably fine.”


He only needs two Going For It rolls to score the equalising touchdown.

The first one...

SUCCESS!

One more.

The Blitzer runs for the end zone.

He reaches it...

And falls!

The ball is dropped in the end zone.

The final whistle blows.

The Unknown Affiliates win 1–0!

What a way to end the game.

The Crimson Chompers were literally one roll away from turning a 1–0 defeat into a last-second draw. The final play had everything: a Goblin dodging into trouble, the Troll making the important block, a Thrower making the pass, a Blitzer catching in a tackle zone, a Break Tackle dodge and finally the dreaded Going For It roll.

It just wasn't enough.




“That was incredibly close!”

“Yes. The Orcs needed just one more successful roll.”

“And they didn't get it.”

“Correct.”

“I think I understand this game now.”


Still, it was a good game for both teams, with plenty of Star Player Points earned and plenty of money made.

After the match, the Unknown Affiliates spend some of their winnings on an Apothecary, which should hopefully help keep their Chaos players alive in future games.

The Crimson Chompers also make some changes to the team.

They buy another Thrower, giving them a reserve player for the future.

There are also two skill improvements.

One of the Black Orcs takes Block, while the Thrower learns Leader.

That means the Crimson Chompers now have four re-rolls.

25 July 2026

Bloodbowl: Orcs vs High Elves

The Crimson Chompers vs. Evershale Eagles

Good morning, sports fans! It's time for another game, and this time it's between two rookie teams: the Orcs, The Crimson Chompers, and the High Elves, Evershale Eagles.

As newly formed teams go, the orcs bring a full 11-player roster, including every specialist, three re-rolls, and a goblin for those one-turn touchdown attempts.

The elves have already played one game. With one player still out injured, they're bringing a journeyman. They field two Dragon Princes and two White Lions but are still missing their Phoenix Guard thrower.

A healthy crowd has turned up on this sunny day. Seventy thousand fans have packed the stands, ready for Blood Bowl.

First Half

The Crimson Chompers receive the ball and start the first drive. They line up in classic orc fashion, ready to beat on the elves.

Perhaps it's first-game nerves, but orc thrower Urk Deathstrike fails to pick up the ball!

---

“Well Jim, that's one way to start a Blood Bowl career.”

“First games are always messy, Bob.”

“Not always. I once saw Morg 'n' Thorg's debut. Twelve casualties. No ball handling required.”

---

It takes a little time, but the orcs eventually secure it and begin caging their way toward the elven end zone.

By turn 3, the orcs make a costly mistake. Blitzer Bruk Skullripper throws an awkward blitz, shifting the cage sideways along the line of scrimmage instead of driving forward. The cage gains only a single square and becomes trapped against the sideline. A bad play.

---

“That's poor positioning.”

“You're right, Jim. Reminds me of Gouged Eye against the Caledor Dragons back in '93. They marched sideways for six turns before realizing they were attacking the wrong end zone.”

“I believe that was coaching rather than tactics.”

---





The Evershale Eagles waste no time punishing it.

Dragon Prince Ethaldir dodges in and blocks Urk Deathstrike. He rolls a Both Down, but thanks to Block, only the orc thrower hits the turf. The ball pops loose... and bounces straight into the hands of Bruk Skullripper!

The ball stays with the orcs.

---

“Now that's lucky.”

“Nuffle likes to remind elf coaches who's really in charge.”

---

Turn 4 sees the cage continue its slow advance. The elves are pushed around and knocked over, but neither side has caused any real damage yet. The cage remains dangerously close to the sideline, and Skullripper is one push away from the crowd.

The elves respond with more elegant play.

White Lion Gil-Galad Lightwhisper blitzes the orc blitzer and drags him to the ground with Wrestle. The ball narrowly avoids flying into the crowd and stays in play.

Then Dragon Prince Theration reminds everyone why Dragon Princes are so dangerous. He dodges away from one orc, into another tackle zone, picks up the ball inside the orc tackle zone, then dodges twice more to escape with it.

---

“Look at that movement!”

“That's what years of elven training will do.”

“Years of avoiding real work, you mean.”

---

By the end of turn 4, the elven counterattack is on. The cage is broken, and the elves have the ball.

Not for long.

Bruk Skullripper gets back to his feet. He blitzes, Goes For It, dodges with Break Tackle, smashes Theration to the ground, scoops up the ball, Goes For It again, dodges away, and suddenly he's racing toward the end zone.

The orcs have the ball once more.





---

“Now that's Blood Bowl.”

“A remarkable recovery.”

“Recovery? He solved the problem by punching it.”

---

The elves answer immediately.

Gil-Galad blitzes again, uses Wrestle once more, and the ball bounces into the crowd.

The spectators have an absolute blast.

The ball is thrown in from one sideline, sails into the end zone, bounces back toward the opposite sideline, then travels eleven squares along the goal line before landing in the hands of Rattlebones the goblin.

He can't hold onto it.

Out of bounds again!

---

“Best passing sequence of the match.”

“None of them are even on either roster, Bob.”

---

Eventually the crowd throws it back into the middle of the pitch, with very few orcs nearby. Suddenly this looks like the elves' chance to launch a decisive counterattack—and it's still their turn.

White Lion Eiwendil Lightfeather picks up the ball and declares a Long Bomb.

It's a true Hail Mary.

Thirteen squares. Bright sun. A goblin marking him.

He fumbles.

End of turn 5.



---

“He actually tried that?”

“Elves do have confidence.”

“That's not confidence, Jim. That's optimism.”

---

Rattlebones, being both Stunty and slippery, darts in, picks up the ball, runs forward, and hands it off to Urk Deathstrike, who strolls into the end zone.

Touchdown, The Crimson Chompers!

1–0!

The elves have three turns left in the half to equalize.

The kickoff lands near the line of scrimmage. The elves secure it and form a cage—they have plenty of time.

A White Lion attempts to dodge into the orc half...

...and falls.

No re-rolls left.

Can the orcs steal a two-turn touchdown?

There is only one option.

The goblin has to fly.

Troll Snork grabs Rattlebones and launches him through the air. The goblin soars across the pitch and lands close enough to score...

...but fails the landing and knocks himself out.

---

“Throw Team-Mate never gets old.”

“You say that every single match.”

“Because it's true every single match.”

---


The Crimson Chompers settle for a little more violence, although, much like the rest of the half, they struggle to hurt anyone. The Evershale Eagles finish the half with an easy completion to earn a few Star Player Points.

Second Half

The orcs receive an extra re-roll thanks to Brilliant Coaching.

They stack the line of scrimmage, bringing all their strength to bear. Rattlebones has recovered after consuming an impressive amount of Bretonnian cookies and is back on the pitch.

The elves are in no hurry. They collect the ball and retreat behind the line.

Dragon Prince Theration blitzes lineman Urg Warcrusher and breaks his arm.

Now that's unexpected violence from the elves.

---

“An elf causing casualties?”

“Write down the date, Bob.”

“Already have.”

---

Snork answers by knocking out White Lion Eiwendil Lightfeather.

Turn 12 belongs to the elves, and they seem determined to win the casualty battle as well.

The unnamed journeyman—just some nobody—knocks out orc blitzer Borg Darkblade, while Gil-Galad Lightwhisper follows up by knocking out Big 'Un Gruk Warbringer.

Huge gaps are opening in the orc defense.

Most of the orcs are lying on the ground, trying to stand back up, while Snork decides this is the perfect moment to spend a turn eating his own snot.

---

“What's the troll doing?”

“Thinking.”

“…That explains why he lost his activation.”

---




The next couple of turns see the Evershale Eagles marching steadily up the field behind a cage while knocking orcs over left and right.

By turn 14, however, the orcs finally spot an opening.

Lineman Vrag Doomfist dodges in to provide an assist. Blitzer Borg Darkblade follows up with the blitz, knocks down the elf ball carrier, and the ball bounces wildly between several prone players before ending up in Borg's hands.

He catches it.

The orcs have stolen the ball!

---

“Just when you think the elves have it won…”

“…an orc catches the ball.”

“Now that's something you don't see every day.”

---

The celebration is short-lived.

Turn 15 sees Gil-Galad Lightwhisper blitz Borg and shove him straight into an enthusiastic section of elven fans. They waste no time sending Borg Darkblade off the pitch with a Badly Hurt result.

The ball is thrown back into play, landing deep in orc territory.

No orc can reach it.

The elves recover it, make a quick hand-off, and lineman Maegin Whisperwind runs in the equalizer.

Touchdown!

1–1. End of turn 15.

---

“Respectable High Elf supporters...”

“Until an orc lands in their lap.”

“Every fan has limits, Jim.”

---



Final Drive

Things might have looked different had Rattlebones not eaten quite so many Bretonnian cookies.

The elves still have all eleven players on the pitch.

The orcs are down three players, including a blitzer and a Big 'Un.

They have two turns to score.

The kickoff is a High Kick.

Perfect.

A free chance to secure the ball.

Urk Deathstrike drops it.

---

“Free catch.”

“…For somebody else, apparently.”

---

The orcs begin by trying to create some violence on the line of scrimmage, but all they manage is a series of pushes. Not a single knockdown. No gaps open in the elven line.

Once again, it comes down to Snork and Rattlebones.

A flying goblin is the only hope.

But first Urk has to pick up the ball.

Even with Sure Hands...

...he fails.

---

“Sure Hands?”

“It's more of a suggestion than a guarantee.”

---

Game over.

After the Match

Both teams decide to spend their winnings on hiring an apothecary.

Star Player Points were scarce.

The Evershale Eagles leave with a touchdown, a casualty, and a completed pass.

The Crimson Chompers earn only a single touchdown, worth fewer Star Player Points, and fail to inflict a single casualty.

A great game nonetheless.

---

“A draw seems fair.”

“The elves got the result.”

“The orcs got to punch things.”

“Everybody goes home happy.”


26 May 2026

Blood Bowl: Humans vs High Elves

 

“Welcome back, sports fans, to another glorious day of bloodshed, broken bones, and deeply questionable athletic ability!”
Jim Johnson

“Hah! And if we’re lucky, Jim, we might even see somebody remember the rules this time!” –  Bob Bifford


Match Report between Amazing Averland Adventurers and Evershale Eagles

The humans’ second match (here's the first) and the absolute first match for The Eagles. The Averland Adventurers are fresh out of a game against a newly formed chaos team. Nobody got hurt, the match ended 0-0. Terrible ball handling, angry spectators.

That makes it all the more surprising that no fewer than 60,000 fans showed up for the match against the Evershale Eagles – a fresh, young team of high elves.

“High Elves, Bob. Graceful, elegant, masters of the passing game.”Jim

“Yeah, and expensive enough to cry every time one gets punched in the face!”Bob

The match begins with the humans on the offensive. And despite their boring performance in the first game, their dedicated fans storm the pitch, leaving no fewer than three high elves lying half unconscious on the grass. As a result, the humans quickly fight their way down one side of the field.

The elves block and hit back hard, and the whole thing mostly resembles classic cage play. The elves’ athletic abilities allow them to dodge and block the humans. The human team captain makes excellent use of his Pro skill during several blitzes, while the ogre’s strength proves decisive. But it takes almost the entire first half to reach the end zone. And not before plenty of punches have been thrown – the elves are unusually violent.

“That ogre’s hitting everything on the pitch, Jim!”Bob

“Including, at one point, his own blitzer.”Jim

“Collateral damage!”Bob

Both humans and elves are sent into the dugout with KOs, and the human thrower is tackled so hard that he suffers an injury – undoubtedly a niggling injury. It is late in the first half, and honestly, how often do you see an elf cause that kind of damage?

The newly hired apothecary is asked to tend to the thrower – but his license appears to have come out of a vending machine – and it quickly becomes obvious that his help will only lead to a faster and more painful death.

“Ah yes, the famous Averland School of Medicine.”Jim

“Step one: hit the patient harder!”Bob

The thrower will miss the next game with a niggling injury.

Unlike the humans’ first match, they finally manage to play some actual Blood Bowl, and with little time left in the first half they score. 1-0 to the Amazing Averland Adventurers.

The rest of the half is spent preventing a quick score from the high elves. They are down on re-rolls, and every human player is thrown into the defence. The elf team fails to reach the end zone.

“The humans are defending like their lives depend on it!”Jim

“In fairness, Jim, they probably do.”Bob

Second half. The ball is kicked to the elves, a fortunate kick placing it all the way up near the line of scrimmage. At the same time, the humans have clearly stepped up their game and launch a quick defence. The entire team goes all in on hunting down the ball immediately.

It completely kills the momentum of the elves’ game. Halfway through the second half, the ball is still only around the line of scrimmage. A pure game of cat and mouse, where a couple of elves dodge free, only to constantly end up surrounded by tackle zones. The ball changes hands several times.

“This isn’t elegant elven strategy anymore, Bob.”Jim

“Nope. This is panic with pointy ears!”Bob

Towards the end of the half, the elves come close to scoring and finally manage to show off some real elven play. But once again a blitzing ogre and the humans’ Pro-skilled captain come to the rescue. And with two turns remaining, the humans pull off a gigantic counterplay involving a pass, hand-off, dodge, going for it, and a match that ends 2-0!

“UNBELIEVABLE! The humans actually pulled it off!”Jim

“I’m shocked, Jim! Mostly because none of them dropped dead halfway through!”Bob

The elves from Evershale Eagles will have to go home and practice their elven play – and start saving up for a thrower. They need to pass the ball more and add some speed to their game. Their dragon princes also need to tone down the violence and ego.

The humans from the Amazing Averland Adventurers now face a match without a thrower and with only 11 men on the roster – no reserves. It will be a hard match. But their fantastic team captain has become MVP two games in a row and has now gained Strip Ball. A fantastic skill when combined with Block and Pro, allowing him to reliably rip the ball out of the hands of faster elven players.

“Two games, two MVP awards. That captain’s becoming a real star, Bob.”Jim

“Stars die young in Blood Bowl, Jim.”Bob





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23 May 2026

Blood Bowl: Humans vs Chaos

 Amazing Averland Adventurers VS Eightpeak Eviscerators

Two completely new teams ready for glory and the spotlight. 60 thousand fans in the stadium!

The humans start by receiving the ball. A classic first half. The humans use their positions well, slowly boxing their way through the chaos lines ... but wow, they were terrible at handling the ball.

Only late in the first half does a catcher manage to get close to the end zone, but he is blitzed into the ground by a thick-headed beastman. Through sheer violence and brute force, they manage to fight the ball back, and with plenty of sure hands from a thrower, the ball is ready to be picked up. But once again, the humans fail to make use of their abilities. They really are rookies.

Chaos starts the second half with the ball, preparing to punch their way through the humans. Amidst good old-fashioned smashing and violence, the ball slowly moves down the field. Chaos is outnumbered due to knockouts and injuries caused by an ogre’s fist. With what should really have been the perfect counterplay, with enough time and just a short pass, the match could have ended 1-0 in the final moment.

But my thrower is a rookie ... and his sure hands are not so sure. The match ends 0-0. A total of 3 star player points are earned from 1 casualty and 1 pass. The fans are deeply disappointed ... The humans’ team captain, a blitzer, becomes MVP. They hire an apothecary for the team — it turns out he got his license from a vending machine.






26 April 2024

Guilders: A Regular Day's Work

 It's been a very long time since we've had a game of Guilders. Life been kind of full with much other stuff. So recently we got a game in. Despite having written the rules, you actually forget certain things. So we started with a simple and cozy Another Day's Work (the simple first Heist in the game). 

My guild had lost their guild roster since their last game - so I couldn't recall their item stash, influence or guilder coins. A perfect excuse to just pension them after the game and paint up a new guild, as I have so many miniatures. But the Rogue Circus will still look good in the cabinet. 

My opponent went through the entire XP, influence, job motion. It'll be interesting to see in our next game, how a fully new guild performs against an experienced one. 

A Regular Day's Work

Super simple scenario just some loot and civillians on the board. Get as muh loot as possible and get off the board. That's it, that's the plan and the heist. We just threw on all the city terrain and (as so often) picked the side we were already on as our starting edges. 



My guild master is a fast acrobat. So my plan for one part of the guild was to rush forward, climb and get the high placed loot II and loot III. The over half of my guild was with the hard hitters, planning to rush the centre of the board, grapping the loot there and not minding a bunch of violence against the opponnent. 

As would become clear through the game, the loot in that empty cart would make os fight. And the building next to it had a guard on top and some good loot. 



For a regular game there's four crowds and six individual civillians on the board, all carrying loot. And there's four guards patrolling the streets. There was a lot of narrow streets in this setup, so we really had to work around or through the crowds to get to the high tier loot. Civillians only carry the worst kind. 


Before each game you roll a complication (if you rember to do so). For this heist there was heated competion between rivalling brewers guilds and all people was a bit tipsy from cheap beer. So the Overall Alertness could start higher, but we rolled on +2. Guards become hostile at 10+, so the game potentially start with hostile guards. 


Our guilds were relatively new, so there's not too many crazy tricks in the bag yet. My guild had a single child Bedridden from a severe beating in the last game. My opponent however had their enforcer and another member in Jail. So they had to field some free scum (a cheap and bad character) for free. Luckily they had some weapons in store for them. 


A regular game start with two ranged guardsmen patrolling the roof tops. There's complications (like gull infestations) that will have even more ranged guards. This are deadly and best avoided. Shooting in Guilders is not too dangerous, if staying in cover or hiding in crowds. But if out in the open, guards will always prioritize an easy hit. 


Some of the tipsy civillian crowds minding their business in the streets. They have to be pickpocketed or beaten to take their stuff. But the market stall has better loot, this can be stolen by anyone with skills.


At the start of the game the guards just move around randomly. If there's no alarm on the board, generally love overall alertness or violent guilders, they guards are not a problem. But they will react to guilders who's been seen doing a crime. And if the guilder has Infamy (from previous games) the guards might react to them, because they are wanted. 


A guard patrolling a house roof. This guy can pretty mich cover the entire centre of the board, so it's important to avoid being in this guys line of sight. 


A little dwarf butcher selling some sausages near the gallow. Meat for the masses while watching a show, though there's no one getting hanged today. 


A thief from my opponnents guild, having stolen a bit of loot from the church. This character has the lockpick skill (all houses starting with loot and is locked). 


My guild master and my charlatan have run the the tavern. The plan is for my guild master to climbing /hw's an acrobat) and steal some high value look next to the ranged guard. My charlatan has magic to both control crowds and pull loot to him. So he's to make crowd stand in the way of guards and try to steal some loot from a distance.


As has so often been the case for me, it's pretty hard for me to steal anything and the damn crowds are in the way. But my enforcer does manage to steal a Loot II and is ready for some combat, with the opponents coming down the same alley to also grab that loot. 

Loot II and Loot III is much better and valueable than Loot I (which there's plenty off). A Loot I will cover the upkeep of a guilder, the other types will make you a profit or good items. 


The hard hitters from the opoonent gang (here's the witch hunter guild master) is making their way to a Loot II in a cart. The story behind this guild, is they're badly funded. But they have feel a right to take something from the masses, to fund their fight against evil. It's just unvoluntary contributions to their effort. 


Street Urchin are very cheap characters, they can't carry much loot, but they are generally ignored by the guards. They are also bad thiefs and will have less than a 50:50 chance to steal from civilians when the game begins. And in this game our street urchin (in both guilds) failed constantly, getting thrown out of crowds and generating alarm - which in turn raised the overall alertness. 



One of the thiefs of my opponent, rushing to get first to some high value loot, trying to avoid my enforcer who's also closing in. 


As we've not really had a lot of alarm around the board, the guards have done a lot of random movement. It's not known to the players when the guards take their turn. But as the game turn progresses the change of the guards taking their is raised. And suddently I found a guard amongst my ranks (with guilders carrying loot) and overall alertness nearing 10. Which we don't want - as killing guards will put a bounty on your head. 



We've learned from bad experience, that making too much alarm is a bad thing. And as soon as overall alertness reached 10, and the guards become hostile - we started making our way off the board. A guilder who makes it off the board gains extra XP and takes off loot. There's coming more and more guards each round - so take the win. 


So we only had a small amount of guild on guild fight this game. My enforcer was shot down by the opposing guild, but not before smashing down a thief with her halbard. The most of the alarm came from us failing smashing doors and getting noticed by civilians while stealing. 



I of cause didn't roll any end game stuff for my guild, having already decided to retire them. But my opponent went through the end game sequence. A single guilder had been hurt and got a niggling injury. The two one time scum where simple let go and not hired - they didn't really gain enough XP for that.

I won the game by 1 victory point. I got 4 Loot I and 3 Loot II (10 victory points). My opponent got 6 Loot I and one Loot III (9 victory points). 

All non-hurt guilders can do various jobs. A guilder went to the fence and sold some contraband, getting a good price for it. Another guilder went to the market and sold some fine gear (items with a higher value). A couple of guilder went to make some protection money. 

Another guilder went to the bailiff and paid bail on the two guilders in jail, so that they would come out and could join the guild for their next heist. 

There was one guilder left to Roam the City, rolling on the 100 entries of random encounters. It was a new guy, a scum no less, who ended up gambling and losing money - jerk. 

In the end it was a good dy for the opponnents guild. They made some XP, put aside a few coins and don't have anyone in jail. 


If you're interested in Guilders, join the Facebook group og the Discord community. The games free beta can be found online and will at some point be availble for purchase as a physical book. 

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