The Crimson Chompers vs. Evershale Eagles
Good morning, sports fans! It's time for another game, and this time it's between two rookie teams: the Orcs, The Crimson Chompers, and the High Elves, Evershale Eagles.
As newly formed teams go, the orcs bring a full 11-player roster, including every specialist, three re-rolls, and a goblin for those one-turn touchdown attempts.
The elves have already played one game. With one player still out injured, they're bringing a journeyman. They field two Dragon Princes and two White Lions but are still missing their Phoenix Guard thrower.
A healthy crowd has turned up on this sunny day. Seventy thousand fans have packed the stands, ready for Blood Bowl.
First Half
The Crimson Chompers receive the ball and start the first drive. They line up in classic orc fashion, ready to beat on the elves.
Perhaps it's first-game nerves, but orc thrower Urk Deathstrike fails to pick up the ball!
---
“Well Jim, that's one way to start a Blood Bowl career.”
“First games are always messy, Bob.”
“Not always. I once saw Morg 'n' Thorg's debut. Twelve casualties. No ball handling required.”
---
It takes a little time, but the orcs eventually secure it and begin caging their way toward the elven end zone.
By turn 3, the orcs make a costly mistake. Blitzer Bruk Skullripper throws an awkward blitz, shifting the cage sideways along the line of scrimmage instead of driving forward. The cage gains only a single square and becomes trapped against the sideline. A bad play.
---
“That's poor positioning.”
“You're right, Jim. Reminds me of Gouged Eye against the Caledor Dragons back in '93. They marched sideways for six turns before realizing they were attacking the wrong end zone.”
“I believe that was coaching rather than tactics.”
---
The Evershale Eagles waste no time punishing it.
Dragon Prince Ethaldir dodges in and blocks Urk Deathstrike. He rolls a Both Down, but thanks to Block, only the orc thrower hits the turf. The ball pops loose... and bounces straight into the hands of Bruk Skullripper!
The ball stays with the orcs.
---
“Now that's lucky.”
“Nuffle likes to remind elf coaches who's really in charge.”
---
Turn 4 sees the cage continue its slow advance. The elves are pushed around and knocked over, but neither side has caused any real damage yet. The cage remains dangerously close to the sideline, and Skullripper is one push away from the crowd.
The elves respond with more elegant play.
White Lion Gil-Galad Lightwhisper blitzes the orc blitzer and drags him to the ground with Wrestle. The ball narrowly avoids flying into the crowd and stays in play.
Then Dragon Prince Theration reminds everyone why Dragon Princes are so dangerous. He dodges away from one orc, into another tackle zone, picks up the ball inside the orc tackle zone, then dodges twice more to escape with it.
---
“Look at that movement!”
“That's what years of elven training will do.”
“Years of avoiding real work, you mean.”
---
By the end of turn 4, the elven counterattack is on. The cage is broken, and the elves have the ball.
Not for long.
Bruk Skullripper gets back to his feet. He blitzes, Goes For It, dodges with Break Tackle, smashes Theration to the ground, scoops up the ball, Goes For It again, dodges away, and suddenly he's racing toward the end zone.
The orcs have the ball once more.
---
“Now that's Blood Bowl.”
“A remarkable recovery.”
“Recovery? He solved the problem by punching it.”
---
The elves answer immediately.
Gil-Galad blitzes again, uses Wrestle once more, and the ball bounces into the crowd.
The spectators have an absolute blast.
The ball is thrown in from one sideline, sails into the end zone, bounces back toward the opposite sideline, then travels eleven squares along the goal line before landing in the hands of Rattlebones the goblin.
He can't hold onto it.
Out of bounds again!
---
“Best passing sequence of the match.”
“None of them are even on either roster, Bob.”
---
Eventually the crowd throws it back into the middle of the pitch, with very few orcs nearby. Suddenly this looks like the elves' chance to launch a decisive counterattack—and it's still their turn.
White Lion Eiwendil Lightfeather picks up the ball and declares a Long Bomb.
It's a true Hail Mary.
Thirteen squares. Bright sun. A goblin marking him.
He fumbles.
End of turn 5.
---
“He actually tried that?”
“Elves do have confidence.”
“That's not confidence, Jim. That's optimism.”
---
Rattlebones, being both Stunty and slippery, darts in, picks up the ball, runs forward, and hands it off to Urk Deathstrike, who strolls into the end zone.
Touchdown, The Crimson Chompers!
1–0!
The elves have three turns left in the half to equalize.
The kickoff lands near the line of scrimmage. The elves secure it and form a cage—they have plenty of time.
A White Lion attempts to dodge into the orc half...
...and falls.
No re-rolls left.
Can the orcs steal a two-turn touchdown?
There is only one option.
The goblin has to fly.
Troll Snork grabs Rattlebones and launches him through the air. The goblin soars across the pitch and lands close enough to score...
...but fails the landing and knocks himself out.
---
“Throw Team-Mate never gets old.”
“You say that every single match.”
“Because it's true every single match.”
---
The Crimson Chompers settle for a little more violence, although, much like the rest of the half, they struggle to hurt anyone. The Evershale Eagles finish the half with an easy completion to earn a few Star Player Points.
Second Half
The orcs receive an extra re-roll thanks to Brilliant Coaching.
They stack the line of scrimmage, bringing all their strength to bear. Rattlebones has recovered after consuming an impressive amount of Bretonnian cookies and is back on the pitch.
The elves are in no hurry. They collect the ball and retreat behind the line.
Dragon Prince Theration blitzes lineman Urg Warcrusher and breaks his arm.
Now that's unexpected violence from the elves.
---
“An elf causing casualties?”
“Write down the date, Bob.”
“Already have.”
---
Snork answers by knocking out White Lion Eiwendil Lightfeather.
Turn 12 belongs to the elves, and they seem determined to win the casualty battle as well.
The unnamed journeyman—just some nobody—knocks out orc blitzer Borg Darkblade, while Gil-Galad Lightwhisper follows up by knocking out Big 'Un Gruk Warbringer.
Huge gaps are opening in the orc defense.
Most of the orcs are lying on the ground, trying to stand back up, while Snork decides this is the perfect moment to spend a turn eating his own snot.
---
“What's the troll doing?”
“Thinking.”
“…That explains why he lost his activation.”
---
The next couple of turns see the Evershale Eagles marching steadily up the field behind a cage while knocking orcs over left and right.
By turn 14, however, the orcs finally spot an opening.
Lineman Vrag Doomfist dodges in to provide an assist. Blitzer Borg Darkblade follows up with the blitz, knocks down the elf ball carrier, and the ball bounces wildly between several prone players before ending up in Borg's hands.
He catches it.
The orcs have stolen the ball!
---
“Just when you think the elves have it won…”
“…an orc catches the ball.”
“Now that's something you don't see every day.”
---
The celebration is short-lived.
Turn 15 sees Gil-Galad Lightwhisper blitz Borg and shove him straight into an enthusiastic section of elven fans. They waste no time sending Borg Darkblade off the pitch with a Badly Hurt result.
The ball is thrown back into play, landing deep in orc territory.
No orc can reach it.
The elves recover it, make a quick hand-off, and lineman Maegin Whisperwind runs in the equalizer.
Touchdown!
1–1. End of turn 15.
---
“Respectable High Elf supporters...”
“Until an orc lands in their lap.”
“Every fan has limits, Jim.”
---
Final Drive
Things might have looked different had Rattlebones not eaten quite so many Bretonnian cookies.
The elves still have all eleven players on the pitch.
The orcs are down three players, including a blitzer and a Big 'Un.
They have two turns to score.
The kickoff is a High Kick.
Perfect.
A free chance to secure the ball.
Urk Deathstrike drops it.
---
“Free catch.”
“…For somebody else, apparently.”
---
The orcs begin by trying to create some violence on the line of scrimmage, but all they manage is a series of pushes. Not a single knockdown. No gaps open in the elven line.
Once again, it comes down to Snork and Rattlebones.
A flying goblin is the only hope.
But first Urk has to pick up the ball.
Even with Sure Hands...
...he fails.
---
“Sure Hands?”
“It's more of a suggestion than a guarantee.”
---
Game over.
After the Match
Both teams decide to spend their winnings on hiring an apothecary.
Star Player Points were scarce.
The Evershale Eagles leave with a touchdown, a casualty, and a completed pass.
The Crimson Chompers earn only a single touchdown, worth fewer Star Player Points, and fail to inflict a single casualty.
A great game nonetheless.
---
“A draw seems fair.”
“The elves got the result.”
“The orcs got to punch things.”
“Everybody goes home happy.”
