24 July 2019

This Is Not A Test: Cannibal Attack!

I always like to plan scenarios well ahead of any play date and usually I build some specific terrain for whatever game is coming up.

For this game of This Is Not A Test my Mutant Cannibals had their first game, trying to stop a caravan of slavers - getting some fresh meat.

The scenario needs four wagons, some pack animals and some caravanners.

One group is trying to move the caravan across the board and the other is trying to stop it.

We made a board with a long road and a gas station in the middle. Then filled it with all manners of wasteland scrap. You can check out the various pieces here.

The caravan started at one end of the road and was aiming for the other board edge. The wagons were rather large and the entire slaver group was pretty close packed at setup. We also figured out, that the caravan really has no time for stops - then they can't make it across the board in the time limit. So it's full speed ahead for this team.

My mutant cannibals setup on the sides and I set them too close to the caravan. This was totally stupid. I should have started a longer ways down the road, attacking the caravan from the front and stopping it - instead I ended up on the sides.

The caravan setup with guards and slaves. Ready for a dangerous trip across the wasteland.

The First Born should be good in melee and a few degenerates. Plan was to rush the caravan with these and tie it down.

Moving forward in cover of smashed cars, trying not to get blown to pieces by gunfire.

Maw Maw the leader, was really the best placed model of the team. She was in front of the caravan, able to meet it head on. The rest of her family should have setup just like her.

One of the free caravanners pulling a drugged and dazed dunger along the road.

A quick shot of the character cards I designed. Makes the game a lot easier and removes many tokens from the board. This is my opponent, trying to defend the caravan after turn 1.  His weapons had a jam party!

The caravan about a third of the way across the board.

A psycho from the Mutant Canninbal family his name is 'Tiny'. Lovely model from Ramshackle Games.

The sacrificial lambs were just annoying, forcing me to spread out my melee troopers - to not get blown up all together.

A youngin' sneaking forward, trying to shot of with his rifle. This is one of the mistakes I made. Should have placed all the shooter in front of the caravan. Then I could have simply shot the lead animals dead.

The first born with his two degenerate brothers trying to make it into combat. As it's easy to see by the photos, the caravan is already in front of the ambush.

"Aaarrrh! Fresh meat!" -  Rushing towards combat, before getting shot. The blue hat freebie model held his ground an impossible long time.

The leader Metzger hiding inside the caravan, shielded by animals.

The fight quickly became desperate for my family of mutants. my models were overpowered by the enemy and it didn't seem like I would claim any victory points at all. So Maw Maw had to get directly involved in the fight.

Tiny taking care of an annoying k-9. The dog broke due to some morale test and ran, before Tiny could kill it off.

Tiny taking on the big buy Linebreaker from the slavers. Both heavily melee armored, this fight went on for a long time.

In the end Metzger, being a slaver and a mercenary did what they do - he ran away. He took a single cart of the board and left his team behind. This was the only cart that managed to exit the board and on the last turn of the game.

The slavers won this fight.

The Slavers had a nice haul of stuff. First the got a lot of barter scrip - at least enough to get a new and well armed elite. But they almost found an old depend-o-bot on a construction site. They re-rigged it and now has a free bot on the team. A very nice mission for them.

My mutants only found enough barter scrip to buy back the model that was killed in the fight - and another 4 of the team would be banged-up for the next game. So a very hard start for these guys.


  1. Replies
    1. Cheers. Trying to add lots of details to the board.

  2. Nice board!
    Great game too,fun to read.
    Just think you need to ad some music or sound on the video's

    1. Thanks for this advice! I've added music and sound effects to the ones I've done later on.